I saw a quote the other day that I loved:
To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.Mark Hack
I think we often do that. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has tried to be the absolute BEST possible version of myself when I start dating someone. You don’t want your crazy showing too fast! We have high expectations of others and just as high for ourselves. But after a while, we become more comfortable, more trusting, and more vulnerable. In these moments the proverbial rubber meets the road. You’ll either accept the less than perfect aspects of each other or you won’t. The most successful relationships seem to be the ones where you can truly accept your partner… warts and all.
I remember the day that Jeff and I had our first real conversation. We discussed things that I never spoke of to another human being, and it was without effort. I remember being surprised as each word came from my mouth and even more surprised that he didn’t run from the room! He did the exact opposite. He stayed, listened, and comforted without judgment. I am far from perfect and have made many mistakes and questionable decisions in my day. So has he. So has everyone. Being open about these things only solidified our relationship. We let the light of love shine through our broken pieces.
I was so grateful that Jeff could see me past every decision I ever made but it was a long walk to forgive myself. I used to replay the same broken record of my disappointments and spending way too much time being disgusted with my body and my inability to “fix” it. It was a few years into our relationship that we reconnected with Christ and began an entirely new way to live, to relate to one another, and to ourselves.
Having a relationship with Jesus gives you the ability to see things from an entirely different perspective. The Mark Hack quote takes on an even more beautiful meaning. No one is perfect. We all have brokenness. We all have faults. We have all made mistakes. We all have pain. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23 NIV This doesn’t change that fact that we are all windows and through our brokenness, our suffering, and our pain, God’s light will illuminate even the darkest rooms of our hearts.